Have you ever wondered where all the leftover buffet food or day old baked goodies go?

I recently had the late-night munchies and decided to go out to my local all night kiosk in search of a snack.  Upon entering I was shocked to see the staff emptying all of their day old bread, donuts and buffet food into the trash. It bothered me so much that I decided to do some research to find out if there are any programs in existence that recycle leftover food.

It turns out there are, and I was impressed with just how much food they manage to rescue and use to feed the needy.  One such program in New York City is called City Harvest (http://www.cityharvest.org/). City Harvest feeds more than 260,000 hungry men, women and children each week. It turns out that City Harvest is actually the world’s first food rescue organization. This year alone, City Harvest expects to collect more than 26 million pounds of excess food from all segments of the food industry, including restaurants, grocers, corporate cafeterias, manufacturers, and farms.

To make things even better, the organization was actually started by a group of ordinary citizens like you and I. A group of friends simply became fed up with the large amount of perfectly good food being wasted each day by local restaurants while the cities poor would remain hungry. People began to enlist their neighbors as volunteers in the collection process and borrowed cars to transport leftover food to the people that needed it most. Twenty-five years later the organization has grown in size and success.

I find it odd that more cities don’t have these programs and if they do, why isn’t the public aware of them? This is a question that came to my mind frequently over the years but, until recently during these particularly hard times for everyone, I have never actually thought of taking time to actually investigate if any programs are set up to recycle extra food.

In fact, several years ago, I actually proposed a similar idea to a bakery owner in Boston, Massachusetts. I witnessed him throwing away all the day old baked goods and I questioned why he didn’t recycle the leftovers. The manager responded by expressing his fear of encountering a lawsuit tied to a potential food poisoning case. So, I made a simple suggestion for him to take a new clean trash bag and place all the baked goodies of that day, which he could not sell the next day in it, then set that bag in an easy to access location for those in need.  Days later I returned to find that he had listened to my suggestion and began placing a new clean trash bag full of leftovers for anyone to grab near the store.

I guess it goes to show you that just because something isn’t publically known, it doesn’t mean that nobody else hasn’t already thought of it and actually done something about it. In fact, I think we could all easily get involved in similar projects, by making suggestions that could turn out to have significant impacts on the lives of those in need. It’s something to think about, next time you have leftovers.

Sometimes in life our plans don’t work as we envision them.  Concepts can appear perfect on paper but things just don’t turn out the way we had hoped.  Normally, this is expected and we can just write off the outcome as one of life’s little surprises.  But in the life of a social entrepreneur who works with concepts aimed at making lasting social change, the stakes are much higher.  We take things very personally when it involves the lives of others, and we rarely accept anything but perfection.

What happens when one takes a beautiful concept, invests everything they have in it for one year and it has an unexpected yet preventable outcome?  Who is held accountable and does anyone really care?  These are scary questions to imagine, and for those of you who have not had a project go off track, it is something to take into consideration.

 Recently, my team finished working on our largest project to date and things didn’t turn out the way we had hoped. Don’t get me wrong, the project was wonderful, and from an outsider’s point of view it was an enormous success and a truly unique concept.  However, it was the behind-the-scenes fiasco that really disappointed us.  It turned out that our local partner, despite reassuring us that they were very focused on “accountability” and “transparency”, absorbed a significant amount of money that was left over after our project was complete.

 We assumed this would be a simple problem to fix and that the community would be eager to make sure thatthis type of behavior didn’t happen again.  What we found was that people had come to accept these kinds of outcomes and responded by saying:

As I sit here in my office working late into the night…

I can’t help but pause from time to time… to ask the question: Is what I am doing actually going to make a difference?

Doubt… It’s really irritating when it enters the mind.

For the past 10 months of my life… I have dedicated myself to “change”.

However… every now and then “doubt” has a nasty habit of popping up in my mind… in it’s attempt to distract me from my goal.

Things have changed so much over the course of this year… that if I take the time to stop what Im doing… take a step back… and look at what I have achieved with the help of my volunteers… It’s amazing to see how much one can accomplish… with a little “focus”.

Then I come back to the present and realize that everything I am doing now and the people that I am now surrounding myself with… are remarkable.

We are working with turly unique concepts here… things that have never been done before.

As quickly as the doubt entered my mind… its quickly crushed and pushed from my thoughts… as I find the answer to my question.

YES… We are making a difference!

Then I am reminded of a wonderful quote by Margaret Mead:

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”

Take Care & Stay Focused!

If you take a pen & paper…

Write down all the characteristics that you desire in the boyfriend or girlfriend of your dreams…

Seriously think about your perfect mate…

Write down exactly what you would like them to be like…

Then…

Take five minutes and eliminate the silly ones like “Ass Looks Good In Jeans” or “Sweat Doesn’t Smell”

Then…

Ask yourself…

If you truly want a man or a woman like the way you described them…

What would YOU have to be like… For them to like YOU?

Wouldn’t you think that such a person as you described… would want someone with similar characteristics to be with???

It just goes to show you… Sometimes we are so quick to judge others… Yet when it comes down to it… We aren’t so perfect ourselves.

But I was just thinking

People know many things… but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they are wise.

I have heard many of my friends and passers-by eagerly give advice and attempt to share their knowledge with others.

Yet they never actually practice or do the things that they say they know.

They basically fail to “practice what they preach”

My old friends know me as the kind of guy that has always been more than eager to give advice.

For years… I called it “constructive criticism”… because I always thought my criticism was a way of helping people.

After all it was the way I grew up.

I was the youngest in a family of 4 boys… raised by an incredibly strong woman… My mommy –Minerva & my three brothers… Ricardo, Dan & Ed -whom I like to call the three-wise-men.

They raised me to be tough… They raised me to be strong… They raised me to be proud… They raised me to be determined & compassionate… They raised me to become better than themselves.  

In a way… You could say that I am a perfect combination of all three of them.

However… my three-wise-men somewhat over prepared me.

They trained me to go into a world that they grew up in… a world that I would never know or come to experience… as my future held unforeseen and unimaginable things in store for me.

My world was turned upside down… when I left the USA at the age of 21.

Things as I knew them… would forever be different.

All the knowledge that was drilled into my head from childhood… would prove to become an incredibly challenging obstacle to overcome… as I struggled to adapt to my new world while still holding on to remnants of a distant past.

As the years went by… I stumbled and crashed several times… trying to stubbornly make people change… to fit my understanding of the world… I ended up hurting many people in the process.

I thought… “they” were the ones that were wrong… and I was living life the right way.

It would take the loss of my first love… to show me… just how wrong I had been living my life.

Some people just never learn from their mistakes…

Others learn so much… in such a short amount of time… that they struggle to digest all of it at once.

I’m still trying to swallow the enormous chunk of reality that fell in my lap this past year.

I struggled for so long… trying to understand why my perception was not the same as my friends…

I pushed so many people away…

I lost some great friendships…& I replaced them with shitty friends.

In a way… you can say that I was actually trying to re-create the world that I had been brought up in… I was literally trying to live my life in the type of tough, racist, angry world that my brothers grew up in… just so I could feel normal.

The loss of my first love… was a life altering experience.  

It has made me re-evaluate a lot of things…

The knowledge that I had drilled into me as a child… is now slowly shifting from one world to another… and turning into understandable and practical wisdom that I can use in this present environment that I find myself suddenly thrown in… as I have only recently realized how to use and understand the knowledge that my three-wise-men had taught me so long ago.

In the past… I was so quick to give criticism and occasionally I threw in some knowledge to spice things up a little.

My criticism… was rarely appropriate and very poorly timed… as I never truly understood how to distribute knowledge in a positive way.

I had always associated the knowledge from my three-wise-men as criticism… because I was a young child… receiving advice from adults.

I fell into the old routine of never listening to your parents syndrome.

Now… I’m beginning to understand how to translate all this knowledge into wisdom.

I’m only now attempting to practice what I have been attempting to preach for so long & only now have I begun to benefit from it.

So… what I’m trying to get at here is that just because you say you KNOW something… DOESN’T necessarily mean you are WISE!

The difference between just knowing something and having wisdom… Is practicing what you preach.

You can know how to tie your shoes… but until you have actually attempted to tie them… you can never truly understand what your doing.

Think about that… next time you say you KNOW what your doing!

Sometimes… I can’t help but feel as if I’m looking at the world through different eyes.

Yet… when I avoid saying what’s really on my mind… and I hold back out of fear of sounding silly or being laughed at…  It seems as if people actually start talking about the same things that I’ve been thinking about.

Well… I try not to hold back anymore.

Now I tend to express what I’m thinking… all the time… even if I can’t really put things in the right way and people eventually end up laughing at me anyhow.

But who cares???  I have nothing to fear… if people judge me for what I say… That’s their problem and their loss.

Because when it comes down to it…  we really aren’t so different after all… no matter how unique we think our ideas are.

In fact… it seems as if we are the ones that get in our own way most of the time… we try tell ourselves that this person or that person is silly, crazy, brainwashed etc… because of how they speak or act.

The list goes on & on…

This is the point when we prevent ourselves from actually learning something… We essentially  prevent ourselves from finding the answers to the questions that we have been unable to answer… due to pride, immaturity, stubborness, arrogance etc…

It’s just like when our parent’s told us not to do something… and we didn’t want to listen to them… so we ran out and did what they warned us not to do… and what happens?

We get hurt & we realize that our parents weren’t so stupid after all.

Doesn’t that sound familiar???

I will be the first to admit that I didn’t always listen to my elders… and I ended up paying for it at times… other times I got lucky and avoided any serious consequences.

However, I have learned to become a better listener over the years.

In fact… at times I am able to listen so well… that I can hear things that people aren’t even telling me.

No… No… No… I’m not a psychic and I’m not crazy.

But body language, behaviour and choice of words… say so much about a person… that sometimes despite saying the opposite… people really mean something completely different.

This is when the advice seems to pour out naturally… Because “we” those who have been there & done that… pick up on certain words, behaviours or things that remind ”us” of when we were in that same situation. 

Then “we” tend to think about how we dealt with things… and advice seems to naturally begin to emerge from our subcontious.

This becomes evident… from all the interesting people I have met along my numerous journeys.

What’s so really awkward is that… the people I met… all had something significant that I needed to hear.

They had all at one point or another thought about the same things I was thinking about… They struggled with the same problems… I was struggling to find answers for and they picked up on my behaviour and my comments…

Then they realized… that they could assist me.

Isn’t that great?

I mean… I was asking for help… without literally asking for it.

As I mentioned in a previous writing… every journey starts out the same way.

During which you think about many things.

Well… its only natural that you focus on a few core concerns that have been troubling you for a while.

It’s these thoughts that prove to be very difficult to figure out… It’s almost as if you can’t really figure things out alone.

That’s when you have to keep your eyes, ears and hearts open… As strangers may hold the key to unlocking your little mystery.

Honestly… that’s always how things seem to workout for me.

I have had my most initimate and complex problems… solved by some random person I met along my travels… because I used to avoid opening up to & listening to the people I hold near and dear to my heart.

These strangers seemed to know exactly what I have been thinking about… & they appear to read me like a book… they were also less likely to judge me… mainly because I knew in the back of my mind… that we would most likely never see eachother again.

So my fear of rejection was eliminated… and I opened up the flood gates of emotions and ideas on them.

It’s almost as if… I was meant to meet them.

As if we were deliberately supposed to walk into eachother and begin talking.

The tricky part is trying to interpret & separate the good information we recieve from the bad.

It’s hard sometimes to be so secure in yourself… that you can open up and let people know what your really thinking… especially those people that we care about so much.

Of course… most of us are affraid of sharing our true feelings & openly communicating with eachother.

It’s that FEAR that prevents us from learning more about ourselves.

After all… Isn’t it better to take the advice of someone who has lived, done and already dealt with all the emotions that you are currently going through?

It’s even better to take advice from someone you love.

Basically what I’m trying to say… Is that I hear all too often people say:

“I know what my problems are”

“I know what I do isn’t right”

“I know… I know… I know”

Well… then my reaction to them is:

“If you know what the problem is… then why aren’t you doing something about it?”

I cannot change a person… I realize that.

But… I’m actually getting tired of people complaining about crap that they have complete control over.

“I’m out of money”

“I hate my job”

“I hate my life”

“I’m fat”

Soooooooo???

What are you going to do about it?

For one thing… You gotta stop pushing people away who attempt to give you advice.

If you think you can figure things out on your own… more power to you!

But if you continue repeating the same behaviour over and over again…

At what point do you stop and realize that you need to try a different tactic?

Obviously… something isn’t right if you continue to repeat the same mistakes again and again.

When are you going to finally admit that life is hard… and sometimes we need a little help to figure things out.

It’s okay… No one is going to think any less of you.

Stop being so proud and hard-headed.

The first step is admitting that you have a problem and recognizing your weaknesses.

You can only improve and become better… when you realize what you need to improve.

So relax…

Not everyone is out there to change you!

That’s just your excuse for avoiding the inevitable step we all have to take eventually… It’s called growing up!

We have to dig deep inside ourselves…

It’s scary… I know.

But when we learn to accept ourselves for who we are… with all our experience and accomplishments… then we can begin loving ourselves even more.

Then its so much easier to be open and honest.

Life becomes so much easier.

Don’t we all owe it to ourselves to make life stress-free and fun?

Think of it as an investment in “YOU”

Aren’t you worth it?

Well… those were just some thoughts I was throwing around my head lately.

Take Care!

So many people want to change how they feel… change their lives… or just change something… but they just don’t know where to begin… or what to change.

Instead they feel confused… sad… lost or even helpless.

People are so easy to come up with numerous excuses as to why they are in their current position… but they are much less willing to ask themselves what it is they can begin doing today to change their future.

Instead they focus on all their past failures…and end up feeling even more down and depressed.

This eventually leads them to fear trying anything new in order to avoid failing again.

Then they continue to repeat the same mistakes that got them in their current situation & life just becomes a vicious cycle of short-lived thrills with constant crashes.

In other words… they let their fear… prevent them from fullfilling their destiny.

Fear… inevitably ends up controlling their lives.

WE MUST STOP FEARING FAILURE!

After all… Failure is only a negative word for Experience.

If at first… we don’t succeed… try… try again.

Remember that saying???

Of course… we don’t try again using the same tactics as our first failed attempt.  We try again… in a new and improved way.

Eventually… If we stay focused… We will succeed.

So instead of saying… “I’m a failure” and focusing on all the negative conotations that this brings to your mind…

Why not say: “I’ve gained some valuable experience” or “I’ve learned from my mistakes”

If we simply change the way we think about things… we naturally begin to feel better and to broaden our perspective on the situation at hand.

I have recently read a book by Anthony Robbins were he suggests using the power of questions to overcome negative thoughts and keep us focused on how we can learn from our mistakes and make the most of any given situation… even if that situation looks pretty bad at first.

I have decided to share those questions with you below:

The Problem-Solving Questions

1. What is great about this problem?

I know it seems weird to initially ask yourself… What is good about this bad thing that happened to me?

BUT… If you actually start focusing on the positive outcomes of even a failed attempt… you begin to change your mindset… and you avoid negative feelings.

Okay… So imagine if your boyfriend/girlfriend breaks up with you.

Most likely… your not going to feel so well initially.

But over time… if you start to change your perspective and ask yourself the right questions… You can begin to see a light at the end of the tunnel and eventually that light… will become a huge flame… leading you away from the lonely darkness of negative thoughts.

So… What is great about this problem?

Even if everything looks bad to you… You can easily start to see things around you that you should be grateful for… Such as the love & support your friends and family give you… or the new sense of freedom that you find yourself having that you hadn’t had before.

Maybe now you can buy all the shoes you want without every asking for your ex’s opinion

OR you can stay out as late as you want with the boys and not worry about your lady complaining that you don’t spend enough quality time with her.

I know it seems very awkward to think about things like this… even in times of extreme sadness.

But you have to admit… that when you do begin to think like this… you can’t help but smile… and that smile will eventually lead to you feeling better.

So… let’s move on to the next question:

2. What is not perfect yet?

What can you improve?  We all need to improve in some way… What can you learn from this?

3. What am I willing to do to make it the way I want it?

What are you willing to do/change/learn to help yourself have the relationship of your dreams next time around?

4. What am I willing to no longer do in order to make it the way I want it?

What are you willing to give up??? In order to make things better next time…

For example… You can ask yourself… Why did this break-up occur? & What can I do to avoid making the same mistakes?

5. How can I enjoy the process while I do what is necessary to make it the way I want it?

Think about all the exciting opportunities you now have ahead of you… your career, your health, your youth, or your freedom.  Or the possibility to meet someone new and exciting and to share some new experiences with someone who is more connected to you.

Now… These simple questions… Although are not the first things that would pop up in your mind immediately after a bad break-up… Can dramatically alter the way you view the situation.

When you change your perspective… then you can begin to positively and dramatically change your life in a healthy and productive way.

Now that we are talking about change… which seems to be a bad word for some people.

Call it evolving, growing, learning, adapting…

Call it whatever you want!

The fact of the matter is that if something is bothering you or making you unhappy… We gotta fix it!

We have to make things better… to improve the situation… so that we can become happier.

So here are some more questions that have proven to make me a heck of a lot more happier when I ask them to myself

The Morning Power Questions

1. What am I happy about in my life right now?

• What about that makes me happy?
• How does that make me feel?

2. What am I excited about in my life right now?

• What about that makes me excited?
• How does that make me feel?

3. What am I proud of in my life right now?

• What about that makes me proud?
• How does that make me feel?

4. What am I grateful for in my life right now?

• What about that makes me grateful?
• How does that make me feel?

5. What am I enjoying most in my life right now?

• What about that do I enjoy?
• How does that make me feel?

6. What am I committed to in my life right now?

• What about that makes me committed?
• How does that make me feel?

7. Who do I love?

• Who loves me?
• What about that makes me loving?
• How does that make me feel?

The Evening Power Questions

1. What have I given today?

• In what ways have I been a giver today?

2. What did I learn today?

3. How has today added to the quality of my life?

• How can I use today as an investment in my future?

Now… I hope all of you can use these simple questions… to begin re-evaluating your current situation and start to think more positively and begin feeling better.

It’s not going to happen over-night.  It’s a long process to begin changing your mindset… However, you must make those first steps in the right direction… to lead you towards a better, brigther and more happier life.

Take Care!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…

The courage to change the things I can…

&

The wisdom to know the difference.

Now… I have been saying this prayer for years.

Ever since I attended an AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) meeting with my father when I was a teenager. 

In a way its been my source of inspiration in difficult times.

Lately… its taken a deeper meaning.

I realized… that for far to many years… I was just “going through the motions” without actually realizing what I was saying.

So I began to break-it-down and analyze this simple, yet complex prayer.

NOW… Let’s take a look at the first part!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…

What am I really asking here???

Serenity is a state or quality of being serene, calm, or tranquil.

So it turns out that I’m actually asking for help to be calm… or patient.

Patience… It’s a re-occuring theme in my life lately… & it has proven to be a very difficult process for me to learn how to become a more patient person.

But thankfully… I think Im finally at a point in my life where I am actually… naturally becoming more patient… Call it old age… I’m getting calmer anyway you look at it

NOW back to the prayer!

The courage to change the things I can…

At first glance… I think to myself… “Of course I have the courage to change anything”

But… over time… I have realized that there is a fine line between being courageous and being stubborn.

It’s very important to combine each part of this prayer for it to have meaning in your life.

Being stupid and courageous… can only get you so far.

However, being patient… courageous… and smart will take you much further.

That is where this part below comes in!

The wisdom to know the difference.

This is truly one of the most incredible parts of this prayer…

It seems so simple when you say it… but every time I repeat it… I realize new ways of re-evaluating my current position… It’s as if the wisdom slowly creaps up on you… and before you know it… your whole perspective has changed.

If you take the time to repeat this prayer over and over in your head… it’s amazing exactly how many things you can figure out by just taking your situation and analyzing every aspect of this simple prayer.

Well it’s helped me a lot.

NOW… I’m not forcing religion down anyone’s throat here.  All I’m sharing with you… is a little prayer that has gotten me through some tough times. 

You can call it an “incantation”… IF that makes you feel better

At the end of a previous short story that I wrote entitled TALES FROM THE CURB 3…

I mentioned:

“It would come to have more significance… later in my journey & I would forever be a different person because of it.”

I figured it is about time that I attempt to explain in greater detail… the actual “significance” of the lessons I learned on that particular day.

What I essentially realized was that I could achieve anything I put my mind to… as long as I stayed focused.

It sounds so simple doesn’t it?

Yet… this is actually an incredibly difficult thing to do.

I mean think about it… One day you might see a program about some interesting place to visit or you hear someone talk about something that you want to do… Then you get an idea in your head and you tell yourself “I want to do this”

You get all excited about it and you start to fantasize yourself already doing or having that thing you desire most.

You may even go out and invest a lot of money… buying things for this particular adventure or preparing yourself to recieve this thing you want so badly.

But… over time… other opportunities start to emerge… and you begin to doubt yourself.

You actually begin to doubt if you really wanted to do this thing in the first place…

You start asking yourself questions: 

“Do I really want this?” 

“Do I really need this?” 

“Why can’t I do this later?” 

You come up with sooooo many excuses…. Then you even go so far as to start asking your friends for advice and support.

Of course… you don’t want to be viewed as a failure… so you paint a lovely picture to avoid admitting to yourself that you actually can’t handle the the truth.

The truth… is that you lost focus.

You got distracted… or you just got greedy.

It’s like that old saying:  “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”

For those of you that don’t know… That old saying means: To want more than one can handle or deserve, or to try to have two incompatible things.

Does this sound familiar?

It should… Every decision in our lives… starts our the same way.

No matter what you decide to do or attempt to do…

This scenario is played over and over again in our lives.

We have an idea… we set out to accomplish that idea… we may or may not get distracted… we make up excuses to either encourage ourselves to finish what we started… or to make us feel better that we actually couldn’t accomplish what we initially thought we could.

It comes down to staying FOCUSED

We can achieve anything we put our minds to!  There is no doubt about it.

But we must overcome the many distractions around us in order to actually get what it is we truly want.

If we stay true to ourselves and concentrate on the end goal… If we stop fearing failure… and avoid distractions… we can make our lives so much more enjoyable.

I recently read a wonderful article… It was about living an extraordinary life.

It basically comes down to one question: 

What is preventing you from living the life of your dreams?

Essentially… What is stopping you from living out your fantasy?

Take a piece of paper… and start writing this stuff down!

Write down all the reasons that are preventing you from achieving your dream.

Then after you write as many reasons as you can think of… start eliminating the silly ones.

Narrow things down to only the most important elements that are preventing you from living an extraordinary life right now.

Then do something about it!

Every day start making steps towards achieving the life of your dreams!

If you have everything written down in front of you… it becomes so much easier to make a plan.

Stay focused… and start to eliminate all those things that block you from doing what you truly want to do… eliminate all the things that are holding you back.

One by one… you will see that you can actually begin living the life you have envisioned yourself living… Right Now!

No more excuses… stay focused and do something to change your situation.

You have no money… Why don’t you have any money?

You have no boyfriend/girlfriend… Why aren’t your in a relationship?

Everything can be solved… nothing is impossible… it only takes knowing what you want… and not letting any distractions take your mind away from achieving your goal.

It’s just something for you guys to think about next time… you get distracted.

Recently, I was overcome with a simple notion…

To what extent does the simple act of setting goals have on a person?

So I have decided to share with you a story of a recent goal I set for myself that proved to have an incredible amount of significance for me.

It was the start of Day 4 on my journey around Iceland. The morning was especially beautiful… and I decided to be spontaneous & set a goal to ride 100 miles/160 kilometers for the day.

Now at the time… I didnt really take myself seriously. It was kinda of a funny thought… and I didn’t really think I could do it. 

After all… I was having difficulty pushing myself to do 60 miles/ 96 kilometers and I wasn’t yet confident in my abilities.

The ride that day started off smooth & calm and as I left the small village of Vik on the Southern coast of Iceland… I thought for a moment that if the weather stayed like this… I could actually achieve my goal.

However as soon as that thought passed through my mind… The clouds began to darken in the distance.

In my attempts to counter mother nature… I tried to force myself to maintain an outlook of positive expectancy… in order to forget about the darkening skies ahead of me.

I kept repeating to myself… “Today is a lovely day.”  “Nothing will change this perfect day.”  “It will not rain today.”

Well… things didn’t go exactly as I had hoped for… and gradually rain drops started to dot the road and spray a fine layer of mist over my face & arms…

Yet I hesitated about stopping to put on my waterproof clothing… and I continued riding… in the mist attempting to change the weather through the power of positive thinking. 

Well, the god’s had other plans that day… & soon the rain became heavier… & the clouds became thicker.

I was forced to stop and put on my waterproof clothing.

Then as if to tease me… the rain stopped and the clouds opened up to show gorgeous blue skies.

But only for a few minutes…

Sure enough… the clouds regrouped and unleased a tropical-like rain storm on top of me.

There I was… with no where to go… but straight.

Needless to say… I began to doubt the ambitious goal that I had set for myself that morning.

That made me feel down & sad… I felt as if I wasn´t able to live up to my own expectations… & those thoughts began to eat away at my self-confidence.

I am however stubborn & I slowly began to become even more determined to achieve my goal.

I was going to beat the storm and anything that stood in my way.

So I continuted on riding through 5 hours of rain that morning… when suddenly… without warning… the clouds parted and the sun emerged to reward me for my hard work.

The sun’s rays… warmed my heart & strengthend my spirit.

A smile seemed to force its way onto my face… despite being physically and mentally exhausted… 

I was overcome with the urge to sing… as I gained speed… I looked down at my speedometer and slowly watched the miles/kilometers gradually creap closer towards my goal. 

I continued to push myself across the vast stretches of emptiness along the black beaches of the Southern coast.

The day was becoming one of my best… as I passed cars that waived at me and honked their horns cheering me on.

When I reached 80 miles/ 128 kilometers… the clouds in the distance began to darken once again… & the temperature began to drop fast. 

As the moutains appeared to slowly swallow the sun’s rays… I again experienced a feeling of desperation overcome my body.

I had come too far and rode for so long… not to achieve my goal.

But… doubt began to cloud my thoughts again.

So many questions ran through my head.

The map showed that for the next 100km there would be nothing but empty volcanic beaches… that meant that if I were to continue riding… I would be forced to either ride to the next village or be forced to camp in an exposed area… with extreme winds.

I arrived to a road-side gas station… that for me appeared to be the point of no return.  Either I would have to choose to stay at the hostel next the the gas station… or I would have to push forward and continue riding into the cloudy, rainy night.

I bought some supplies and stood by the window… looking out at the road ahead of me… I was too excited to sit down… although I had ridden hard for the entire day… I still felt that I was coming up short…

Then a group of young people drove into the gas station… They were tourist… and as they passed me and walked into the store to buy some candy… they walked by… without even a friendly glance or a jesture to recognize my presence. 

It was that simple act of not doing anything… that got me thinking…

No one really cared what I was doing.

No one knew the physical pain I was in.

No one knew the mental challenges I had to overcome to push my body to continue riding.

No one knew how truly difficult this journey was becoming.

It was then that I realized… this goal that I had set for myself… was not to prove anything to anyone else… to be quite honest… no one really cared if I actually reached my goal. 

I was just another bicyclist on the road…  I was virtually invisible.

The goal I had set for myself… was only a way to prove to ”me” that I could do something that in my mind I felt would be incredibly challenging.

In essence… the only true limits… were my imagination.

No one told me that I couldn’t do it… No one told me anything…

In fact… I told myself that it would be difficult…. & because I began to think like that… I actually made the trip more difficult.

The goal I had set for myself that morning… was a way of helping me to realize that the only limits on my achievement are… self-imposed.

I myself… create my boundaries.  I choose what I can & cannot do.

As that realization came to my mind… I took a deep breath… I got on my bicycle & I decided to continue riding.

The weather worsened as I rode on… but that didnt faze me any longer…

As the air became heavy & cold… I watched the mist escape my mouth and I slowly pushed out the pain from my mind… It was as if I fell into a deep meditative state… only listening to my heartbeat and the sound of my breath

I continued to push myself further and further into the emptiness of the night.

A smile again forced it’s way onto my face and I pushed myself harder as I anxiously watched my speedometer.

At times… I caught myself fading in & out of conciousness… as I was nearing the point of complete and total exhaustion.

Then I looked down at my speedometer… & watched in amazement as the last digit rolled over to 100 miles/ 160 km…

I had reached my goal after 8 hours and 1 minute of total riding time.

As I gradually came to a stop in the middle of the road… I was overcome with a silence unlike I had ever experienced.

My mind was completely empty.

Not a single thought…

Not a single worry…

Not anything at all…

The whole world appeared to come to a complete stop.

Soon a wave of emotions overcame me… as tears of happiness began to burst from my eyes… I began to laugh and cry at the same time.  I was a sloppy mess of emotions and it felt so wonderful.

I screamed out into the sea and watched the waves crash against the shore… as I searched for a place to set up my tent.

That day for me was a truly eye-opening experience & it would come to have more significance… later in my journey & I would forever be a different person because of it.

But that’s another story